understanding while waiting ( Chapter 19 )

One of the hardest moments of this process, the capability to understand while waiting for a full healing, many times we can understand something but our feelings could be different than our thoughts, and the balance between those, is something that requires a lot of self awareness, will power, and a peaceful mind, to dont feel frustrated while waiting, to dont feel insecure in the time where it feels nothing is happening, even thought something is happening, its a daily job for our mind to remember, there is a reason for it, there is an explanation in the waiting, even if there are no words, there will always be signals to recognize that we are walking in the right path, that we are right where we suppose to be, and that there is nothing we could do to change what is meant for us, but embrace it, understand it, accept it and live it. I know writing about it, could seem as it was an easy lesson for me, but it is not, another thing i have to work on everyday is, to pay more attention to the understanding than what i feel should happen, often, what i feel tricks me too, because it come with emotions that are old, and no longer part of who i am today. Emotions makes everything to be amazing and joyful, in good moments, but in the uncertain ones, emotions are not really helping us, because in the process we use a lot of extra energy, to the point that we dont have full strength to see clearly when any emotion comes up, and there is where i am working now, i am allowing to feel, and be emotional but i am also learning to not let my emotions define my day, who i am, or what have happen, i am learning this day by day. Too many lessons in this healing season, that i also have to be alert, to not forget, what cost me too much pain, what took me, too much time. Living one day at a time, leaving behind the past, and not running after my future, being present in this present, because thats my present.